Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
