This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
