Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
