i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
