I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
