K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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