2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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