I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
