You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize