David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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