But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
