I intend to get homeless drunk
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
And then he peed in my hair
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