btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
