She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
