Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so let's talk penis.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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