I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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