Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
