We won't sleep together?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
