I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
