this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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