if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
