dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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