Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
