when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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