its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
