it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
