Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
