so that wasnt chicken after all
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
