So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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