Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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