If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
