but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
