Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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