i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
