So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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