Dual....:-)
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
