I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
