the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
