If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
