I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
