hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
