and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
