I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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