He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
