Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
