The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
