i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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