You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
