I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He has the fingertips of a God
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