I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I forget how to act sober
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
