i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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