I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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