elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
