you guys were way drunker than both of me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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