My first STD was from a foam party
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
