Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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